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One of my readers has taken me slightly to task for a remark I made in a recent post about being merely a Christian, as opposed to an ultra-Christian. I’m a fast writer, and I rarely rewrite. (Not necessarily good, I know) I was only dimly aware that I had even made that distinction. So, when I read my reader’s comment, I wondered what in the world I had actually meant. Let me explain.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but of all the world’s religions, Christianity seems to be the most difficult to belong to. There are apparently a number of barriers to entry, and according to who you talk with, those barriers change.

If you want to become a Buddhist, all you need to do is mediate some (not necessarily every day) and try to live a moral life. You probably would have to give up meat, and you shouldn’t harbor any more violent thoughts, but other than those details Buddhism is fairly user-friendly.

My family had some very close friends who were Hindus and Jains. Although I’ve never heard of anyone doing this, I can’t imagine anyone being given any flack for becoming a Hindu or a Jain.

I have known people who’ve converted to Judaism–they married into a Jewish family. You have to take some classes and if you’re a man, I think you have to have a ritual circumcision. I’m not sure if there are any tests involved, so once you’re done with the classes, you’re Jewish. At least for the few people I’ve known who have been through this, it all seemed to be pretty straight forward.

I suspect becoming a Muslim is probably about the same. Ideally you would want to learn classical Arabic so that you could read the Koran in its original language. You would have to get used to going to a mosque instead of a church–that’s no big deal. I’m not sure if they fit everybody for bomb vests, but again I can’t imagine that being much of a problem. You can probably buy those on eBay–cell phone included.

Becoming a Christian, however, is quite a different story–even if you’ve been one all your life.

I was raised a Methodist, and in a very open-minded family to boot. We were sort of Christian-lite! My grandmother and grandfather went to church, although my grandfather considered himself a “deist” like Voltaire. My mother went to church, too, but my father did so rarely. He was a very spiritual man, he just didn’t like what he called “organized religion.” (I’m not sure if that was opposed to “unorganized religion.”)

I’ve always considered myself to be a Christian. When I was a little kid and learned about a book entitled “God is dead,” I sat on the basement stairs and wept inconsolably. I had lost a friend. My mother finally helped me understand that just because someone said “God is dead” doesn’t mean that God is actually dead. I felt slightly better and came upstairs.

When I was a teen I read the bible, mainly the New Testament, and I still thought I was a Christian.

As I matured, I learned about other religions, Buddhism being the main one. I really liked Buddhism, especially the meditation part. I began meditating then and except for a few lapses, have never really stopped. Although I was reading sutras and meditating, I still considered myself to be a Christian.

Fast forward about fifteen to twenty years. (I’m still a Christian that whole time, by the way.) I had taken a few years off of work to help my father during several illnesses he had, which he finally died of. The day he died, a friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come teach at her school. I thought the timing of that call was amazing, so I said I would consider it. A month later I was teaching at her school, a small evangelical Christian school.

I’m not an evangelical Christian–I’m a Methodist (we don’t talk in tongues). I made that clear to the headmistress who ran the school. She hired me anyway. I worked there for a year and a half, then graduated to public school. (In retrospect that was kind of like going from Jerusalem to Sodom. )

My stint at the evangelical school was one of the greatest, most eye-opening years of my life. Up until that time, I had always believed I was a Christian, yet it was in that school that I began to wonder if I really were.

I had read the bible cover to cover by that time, although I had not read the version authorized by that particular cult. I also had had what I believed to be a personal relationship with God and Jesus, although it was nothing like the relationships those folks told me about.

I was very tolerant of other religions. (I used to be tolerant of Islam until 9/11, then I lost my tolerance.) I didn’t know this, but according to the folks at the evangelical school, other people are supposed to be going to hell. Stupid me. My dad would have never burned me forever for disappointing him (and disappoint him I did, more than once). It was therefore difficult for me to understand why God would burn me forever for disappointing him.

I had always felt like religion was like a wide, welcoming, lazy river with lots of boats on it all going down river, but at different speeds, and by different paths.

I did not realize that the true path is narrower than a razor blade. One misstep, and you fall off for good. (Into hellfire!)

I had never understood that I had to have a pastor explain the bible and God to me. Silly me. I thought I could just read the thing for myself and talk with God and that he would answer me.

He always has, or was it just my imagination?

I especially never thought that I had any idea what God wanted, nor really why he had set the universe up. I had just sort of relied on God like a little child relies on a parent.

These people at this church apparently knew what God wanted–they were always saying so, at least. God wants you to do this, God wants you to do that. God will punish you if you don’t whatever.

I never really thought of God punishing me for anything.

Look, why do I need God to punish me? I can do that just fine myself.

I always thought God was there to help you pick up the pieces.

So, this is why I make the distinction that I am a Christian, but not an ultra-Christian. I don’t have it in me to be an ultra-Christian. I guess when it comes to religion I’m not a team player. Of course, part of the problem is I can’t quite figure out who’s on the team and who’s not.

It’s about all I can do to hold on to the little bit of grace that I already have!

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This entry was posted on Saturday, April 28th, 2007 at 1:55 am and is filed under General, Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.